VIOLENCE WARNING: There is some violence (come on it's the Warrior Princess). There is also a dream sequence that depicts violence against a baby (it's clearly marked, but it's not too terrible…just wanted folks to know).

TIMELINE: My own making. Instead of Xenaverse...it's Gabrielleverse! Let's just say that India never happened, Eli never sucked the bard into buying what he was selling, Gabrielle never became a wimp and tossed her staff away, Ephiny never died, and our ladies were never crucified. I think I blocked out all the episodes of XWP I didn't care for midway of season four! This is mostly how I wanted the series to go.

HIGH ANGST WARNING: I was threatened within an inch of my life if I didn't start putting this disclaimer on some (all?) of my work. I will henceforth rate the angst content with sad faces, one being the lowest and four being the highest. That being said…this story earns: L L L L L L (6 sad faces for those without TT Fonts…yep, "off the scale sad." I do, however, always believe in happy endings!)

SEX: Yes, I'll have some, thank you. I mean, yes there is. It is our favorite two Soulmates, after all. It's not gratuitous, but it is quite explicit when it gets going. This story shows consensual love/sex & even occasional light bondage between two adult females. Even when they get carried away, it's all done in love.

UNDERAGE WARNING: Hey, the Supreme Court said in Reno v. American Civil Liberties Union (1997) that laws against making available, online, certain "indecent" materials for those under 18 was unconstitutional…look it up! Besides, this is perfectly "decent." J

SPECIAL THANKS: Goes to The Bards' Village mail list for all their valuable feedback. To KT, for her poem, Looking Back At You.

I only know how others feel about my stories from feedback. Let me know what you think...I'm at: ljmaas@yahoo.com

*This is the fifth story in the "Queen" series. You may be more than a tad lost if you don't read them in sequence. The series begins with "To Become A Queen" and follows with "Quest for A Queen," "The Heart of a Queen," and is followed by "The Queen of My Heart."

his is not a light hearted tale. The first part is sad, plain and simple. I can only describe it by saying that we all have trials and tribulations in our lives. It is not whether we come through them or not, which makes us great individuals. It is the journey through the pain, the path we take, that shows what kind of people we are inside. I've written this one to reflect those thoughts. It's Gabrielle's journey. You will like the end, however.

Chapter 1

"Thwack!"

"Thwack!"

Gabrielle listened to the sound the long handled axe made as it bit deeply into the wood. A Queen's paperwork forgotten, she cupped her chin in her hand and watched in equal parts fascination and desire, at the strength in her warrior's frame. A heavy sigh escaped her, remembering the sharp words she'd thrown at Xena just before the dark-haired woman left the hut. Her wife bore the stinging words with the good grace that was fast becoming the warrior's trademark during Gabrielle's last few moons of pregnancy. Xena would nod her head, calmly accepting blame for whatever indiscretion her wife thought the tall woman guilty of, and then be there a candlemark or so later, to hold Gabrielle in her strong arms, as the Queen apologized and wept over her unmanageable mood swings.

The hard sound of the axe disappeared, the sound of a pounding hammer taking its place. Xena was laboring hard to complete the final work on the addition to their home. The extra room would come in handy with the baby arriving, and all too soon, Gabrielle thought to herself, it would become the child's bedroom.

The warrior wore a shirt with the sleeves ripped off and a pair of leather trousers while she worked with the wood. The clothing felt a bit stifling to the woman who was accustomed to much less attire, but it protected her skin more. Xena finally gave in and switched from her leather battle skirt to the leather trousers when she got tired of picking splinters out of skin.

The weather was hot, as it had been most of the summer. Even now, as they entered the harvest season, the sun continued to burn down. Rain was scarce this summer and the meager harvest showed it. All across the Amazon lands, dried creeks and ponds turned into nothing more than cracked, parched landscapes.

Gabrielle continued to stare at Xena, a myriad of fantasies playing themselves out before her mind's eye. She sat there with a little half smile on her face and a dreamy expression in her eyes. The young Queen knew she was a basket case full of conflicting emotions lately. Each fortnight that passed her libido traveled further and further away. She adored making love to Xena and found it intensely satisfying, but she couldn't even explain to her partner why she had no interest in Xena pleasuring her. How could she explain something she had no answers for herself. It brought her to tears on more than one occasion, Xena's patient love, and understanding coming into play to calm the overwrought Queen. Xena would eventually reward her with a tiny, all-knowing grin, and tell her it was normal and Gods help them when the young woman was ready.

Gabrielle felt as if that time had finally come.

She felt for her wife, watching the warrior work so hard. There would be days when intimacy, even at the talented hands of her wife, was the last thing Gabrielle had on her mind. She still worried, even after Xena's reassurances, that she would never feel that spark of passion drive through her like a lightning bolt scorching the earth; that she would never again feel desire possess her body so completely that only a certain dark-haired Warrior Princess could release her from its spell.

She gazed out the window just as Xena paused to take a drink of water from a skin, conveniently hanging on a nearby tree branch. She watched as the tall warrior tilted her head back, drinking deeply. Gabrielle realized her mouth was hanging open, her breathing coming in small, shallow pants. Tiny rivulets of water escaped past the seal of the waterskin where it met Xena's lips. The thin streams trickled down her chin, falling onto her chest, soaking the shirt, and causing the fabric to cling to the well-developed chest.

Gabrielle swallowed hard and felt a warmth flush her skin, a feeling she hadn't felt in moons. Amazing! Of all times to be ready. I'm nearly ready to give birth and I want hot and heavy sex! Get a grip, woman!

The young Queen gazed down at her swollen belly, looking quite large on her small frame. "Oh, yea…that's attractive." Gabrielle grumbled aloud to no one but herself.

Her eyes were drawn once again to the warrior outside. She felt her heart do that little stutter that it always did when she thought about her love for Xena. Gods! That does feel good, though. It's been so long since I've wanted Xena to touch me

Xena paused to wipe the sweat from her eyes. She tried to get the majority of the heavy work done in the early morning and evening hours, taking a much deserved rest during the heat of the afternoon. She reached for a waterskin and drank deeply, feeling the unnerving sensation of being watched. When she raised her eyes and scanned the area, she immediately locked on to her wife's penetrating gaze. Her eyes met Gabrielle's and the waterskin very nearly fell from her grasp.

Her need clawed at her belly as if it were a living entity. Not the need for pleasure, Gods, Gabrielle had been more than generous with her affections, well, the last two weeks had been pretty dicey, but it could have been worse. Xena hadn't made love to her wife in moons. She couldn't really blame the young Queen, though. Xena remembered when she was carrying Solon. She had an insatiable need to satisfy Borias, her lover at the time and Solon's father, yet her own body was off limits. She didn't know why, but she assumed it had something to do with the way she felt in her body at the time. She definitely remembered that it was no fun having that huge belly going ahead of her at all times. Frankly, she felt like a pregnant mare.

Because of this, she neither complained nor fussed about her wife's decreasing libido. She accepted what Gabrielle was able to give and took pleasure in the fact that Gabrielle did appear to be deriving a certain amount of gratification from satisfying her warrior. Xena was content that the young Queen would give her some sort of a signal when she was ready.

Xena recognized that her wife was sending her a signal so large it might as well have been a bonfire. The look in Gabrielle's eye was unmistakable, and pregnant or not, Xena still thought she was the most beautiful creature in the Known World. She had to admit, going the last fortnight without Gabrielle even touching her made her more than willing for anything the young woman might have in mind. She was rather hoping Gabrielle would have had the baby by the time her dry spell snapped, but she was the Warrior Princess, after all. She was willing to improvise. She was getting laid this afternoon and the look in her wife's eye, told her the pleasure would be reciprocated.

"It's getting hot out here, warrior."

Xena caught herself staring off into space. She quickly looked down with a sheepish grin at the small blonde standing beside her. Gabrielle's emerald eyes sparkled with undisguised lust and the warrior was struck speechless. You have no idea how hot, my heart!

"Thinking about taking a break for a while?" Gabrielle asked.

"As a matter of fact, I was thinking of heading of to the baths right now."

"Sound like a good idea," the Queen replied quickly.

Xena heard the tenor in Gabrielle's voice. The sound was a combination command and desperation. The notion, in itself, that Gabrielle wanted Xena, made her wet. She could feel her arousal washing over her like a penetrating warmth.

"Be right back, love," the warrior bent down to steal a quick kiss. Xena practically ran to the hut for a clean shift and took off in the direction of the baths.

Gabrielle chuckled to herself, thinking once again of the small surprise she had fashioned for her warrior. A worried frown creased her brow, wondering if Xena would have a problem with something like this. No, it's not like we've never used anything like this before, she shook off the nagging worry. She owed her wife a good time after what she'd been putting her through lately, and this would be the perfect way to satisfy Xena for a good long time.

**********

"Mmmm…feels so good. Brie, if you keep that up…" Xena yawned, "I'm going to fall asleep."

"It's okay to fall asleep, love," the Queen responded.

Gabrielle's hands gently massaged the scented oil into the muscles across the warrior's broad back. She used a light and loving touch, meant to relax and not arouse.

"But, I don't want to fall asleep during this…" Xena answered sleepily.

"It's not that kind of massage, Xe. Just relax," Gabrielle whispered close to the warrior's ear and smiled at the goose bumps that rose up on Xena's skin. "I want you to take a good long nap because you're going to need all your strength when you wake up."

If Xena heard that last statement, she never gave any indication as the light sound of the warrior's snores filled the room.

**********

Xena felt she was floating on a cloud. The hands that cupped her breasts…she would know the feel of those hands anywhere. The fingers moved to run in teasing strokes up and down her body as she lay on her back across their large pallet. Nails lightly raked up the inside of her thighs and she felt a delicious trickle of wetness between her legs. Still halfway between sleep and the waking world, Xena sighed as she felt soft lips kiss across her chest.

"Oh Gods, Brie…yes!" She exclaimed when she felt a warm wet mouth enclose an aching nipple in its grasp.

Xena opened her eyes to a beautiful site. Gabrielle's golden hair fell across her chest as her wife teased and suckled her breasts. The young Queen bit down gently on the tender flesh in her mouth and Xena arched her body into the sensation. Her forward progress was halted immediately and Xena's eyes flew open wide.

She tugged experimentally to discover she was bound to the bed by thick leather straps at her wrists.

"What in--"

"Sshh, love…relax…" Gabrielle said softly, bending once more to administer her loving touch upon the warrior's body.

"Brie!" Xena's voice sounded panicky to her own ears.

Gabrielle raised her head in concern. She stroked Xena's smooth cheek, attempting to gentle her.

"Xe…it's all right. It was my doing. Relax and let me love you."

Xena tried. She took deep breaths of air, attempting to concentrate on her wife's touch. Her heart was racing along and she couldn't seem to slow its pace. She realized she wasn't getting enough air.

Gabrielle moved up to look into her lover's face. The sound of Xena's breathing grew loud, exhaling in short bursts. It resounded throughout the room and Gabrielle thought her wife was very close to having an anxiety attack. She'd never seen the warrior in this state and it frightened her.

"Xe…it's okay, love, we've done this before."

I--I can't…" Xena tugged hard on the leather straps, and feeling no give to them at all, she panicked all that much more. "Let me loose, Gabrielle."

Gabrielle had no idea what was happening, but she immediately tried to respond to her warrior's request, which soon became a demand.

"Now! Gabrielle, please…get these off!"

Xena was pulling with all her strength by this time and even the headboard of the large wooden bed creaked and groaned under the stress, but the thick leather held. Gabrielle was trying to loosen the straps, but by now, Xena's constant tugging had tightened them considerably. Her wife's eyes were wide in what Gabrielle could only determine was fear. The warrior's chest rose and fell deeply, but she couldn't seem to take in enough air.

"Gabrielle!"

Xena's panicked plea cut through Gabrielle's confusion at this turn of events and she quickly looked to the floor. Swiftly reaching down and grabbing Xena's breast dagger, the Queen sliced through the thick leather in heartbeats.

Pushing her wife's naked body aside, Xena leapt from the pallet. The warrior had a crazed look in her eye as she searched the room for her clothes. Tugging on her breeches and leathers, she pulled the laces of the leather battle dress closed, and slipped into her boots.

"Xena? Are you okay?" Gabrielle asked in total confusion.

"I--I…" Xena stammered, but the warrior refused to raise her eyes to her wife.

"Xe…I'm so sorry. I had no idea--"

"It's…it's…I need some air." Xena rasped, swinging the door open and rushing out into the late afternoon sun.

Gabrielle looked at the shredded toys that she purchased and wondered what in Hades just happened. Her wife just panicked at being tied up and made love to. That was definitely different. She rose up from the pallet and put her robe on, removing what remained of the leather straps. She wondered if she should run after Xena to try to explain, but with Xena, that was never a good idea.

Gabrielle decided to give the warrior a candlemark or two to calm herself, but if she weren't back by then, the Queen would go looking for her herself.

"Gabrielle," the young woman shook her head and spoke aloud. "The next time I wonder if something is a good idea…maybe I better just go with my first instinct!"

**********

The small blonde reclined against a number of pillows stacked into their favorite corner by the fireplace. It was too warm for a fire, but it was still the coziest spot in the hut. She and Xena usually sat together, talking and making plans for the baby. It surprised the young Queen when she first heard Xena speaking of their family and a future. She never would have thought her warrior would ever become this domesticated, but it was as if Xena made a decision.

The warrior confessed to Gabrielle that she wanted to be around for her wife and child. She couldn't afford to take foolish risks anymore, not with a family and a future to think about. Gabrielle cried tears of joy that night, watching her warrior sleep. She realized that for all these seasons, what kept Xena from enjoying any aspect of her life…it was the future. The warrior never thought she would last long enough within the mortal realm to ever fall in love, have a wife, and a family. Now that it was happening, Xena actually seemed relaxed. In the past, she stoically participated in Amazon life within the village, but it was usually for Gabrielle's benefit. Now, Xena appeared to actually take pleasure in a place that would become home, for herself, and those she loved.

Gabrielle sat alone, but knew that as soon as the candle on the table burned down another quarter of a mark, she would go in search of her warrior. Before the thought was gone from her head, she heard the door softly open. She didn't look behind her; there was no need. She caught the unmistakable scent of her wife, that familiar combination of jasmine, leather, and wood smoke. She closed her eyes and breathed in, enjoying the feeling of comfort that scent provided.

Xena removed two of the large pillows Gabrielle leaned against, sliding behind her wife and replacing the cushions with her body, the young Queen settling herself in her favorite position.

"How do you feel, Xe?" Gabrielle wasn't sure what to ask.

"Incredibly stupid, that's how I feel."

A small silence ensued before each woman attempted to break it at the same time.

"Gabrielle…"

"Xena…"

They each paused a heartbeat,

"I'm so sorry…"

"I'm so sorry…"

They said in unison, looking up at one another and smiling.

Gabrielle noted her wife's red-rimmed eyes and knew the warrior had been out, crying tears of frustration for being less than perfect.

"Xe, I am sorry…I never thought…I mean we've done that before, and--"

Xena grasped her lover's hand and brought it to her lips. "Never like that," the warrior whispered softly against the fingertips pressed against her lips.

"I'm sorry for over reacting, Brie. It's just that before…well, I've always had an out…you know, a way to release myself. This way I…I just had no…no…"

"Control," Gabrielle finished knowingly.

Xena lowered her head in shame and admission. She knew what this was telling her wife about the amount of trust she held in her. How could Xena explain, when she didn't understand it herself?

Gabrielle turned in her wife's embrace in order to see her better. The Queen lifted the proud chin with her fingertips and looked again into the beautiful blue eyes she so loved. She could tell from the set of the warrior's jaw that Xena was disappointed and angry with herself. The warrior had so few flaws to her character that Gabrielle understood how this affected the strong woman. Xena did what she always did. She pointed the finger at herself and found this to be some serious failing in her.

Gabrielle looked deep into her wife's eyes until the warrior felt the young Queen must have surely been reading her thoughts. As always, the young woman said just the right words to ease the warrior's heartache.

"Xe, I know this doesn't have anything to do with us."

Xena gave her wife a small smile for her understanding.

"I know you are the consummate warrior, and that there haven't been any situations that you haven't been able to get yourself out of. You do know, however, that someday that may happen. It's inevitable, my love. Someday you're going to run into a situation that you simply can't control. It will be out of your hands and I'm afraid that if you don't deal with that eventuality, it will hurt you…badly."

Xena took the hand that stroked her cheek and placed a light kiss in the palm, entwining her own fingers within the smaller one.

"I'm not sure I can change that about myself, Brie. I have always had a warrior's mentality. I never accept defeat because I've always managed to come out on top. Even when I have to lie and cheat my way out of a situation, I eventually win. Look at our lives, my heart. All that we've been through, all the pain, and yet now we know such happiness."

"That doesn't mean that sadness can't still touch us," Gabrielle answered.

The Queen watched her wife's face turn confused, her brows coming together.

"Xe? What's wrong?"

"What you just said, the Oracle of Tan told me that very thing. When we were in the caverns on Delos, we ran into an old woman who said she was an Oracle," Xena related the events that she all but forgot before this moment.

"You met the Oracle of Tan and you didn't tell me?" Gabrielle asked in amazement.

"Frankly, I didn't think she was too famous…I never heard of her."

"Now that surprises me, my all knowing warrior." Gabrielle smiled at the woman who smirked down at her. "Only some of the very oldest scrolls mention her. She's supposed to be an elder sister to the fates. It's said that it was she, who assisted Gaea in giving birth to Uranus, to form the world that we know. If it's true, then she was here long before the Gods, Olympian or otherwise, ever were," Gabrielle finished in excitement. "I can't believe you didn't tell me this."

"Yea, well, we were a little busy once I got back if you'll remember," Xena grinned.

Gabrielle grinned right back, feeling the twinges of desire that assaulted her earlier, returning.

"Anyway," Xena continued. "I don't think she was much of an Oracle. She told me something terrible would happen, but that I would rise above it…something like that. Wait…no; she said a sadness, just like you just did. She said a great sadness would come upon me. Hades, everyone knew that! You were back here, somewhere between life and death because of Hera's spell over the Amazons and I didn't know if I would be able to defeat Hera in time. It didn't take an Oracle to give me a prediction like that."

"Are you sure that was the incident she was referring to?" Gabrielle asked, a worried frown creasing her brow.

"Sure…it was obvious," Xena replied. She had to admit to herself, however, that she hadn't really thought about the Oracle's words since that time.

"I'm sorry for throwing you in a panic…you know…earlier," Gabrielle apologized again.

She turned and snuggled into Xena's embrace and the warrior kissed the top of the golden head. The warrior placed both her hands over the large swell of Gabrielle's stomach and caressed the swollen area, smiling when she felt the baby's kick against her hand.

"I'm sorry I ruined your plans for the day…it seemed as if you had something very specific in mind," the warrior kissed the edge of her wife's ear, allowing the tip of her tongue to graze the skin there.

Xena's smile grew when she felt the shiver that ran through Gabrielle's body. Oh yes, warrior…you still have a chance here. "Come on, let's go to bed."

Xena stood, scooping her wife into her arms with her.

"Are we through discussing this?" Gabrielle asked, desire sparkling in her eyes.

"Oh yea…. I'm all through talking for the night," Xena replied.

She leaned in and placed a passionate kiss on her wife's lips. Gabrielle's immediate responsiveness to the kiss told the warrior that her wife was indeed ready for pleasure. Gently placing Gabrielle onto the bed, she quickly removed her own boots. She slowly removed her clothes, standing before the young Queen who leaned up on one elbow to watch the seductive display. The last time Xena disrobed this way, strictly for Gabrielle's pleasure, was on their wedding night.

Xena lay alongside her wife and began to pull open the wrap around shift Gabrielle wore. A small hand stopped her and the warrior looked up, captured by a very pensive expression.

"What, love?" Xena reached in and brushed her lips lightly against her wife's.

Gabrielle paused before answering, her insecurities surrounding her own body, putting a damper on the overwhelming passion she felt moments before.

"I look so different than the last time you touched me. I don't even know how we're going to manage this. I mean, I'm so huge, Xe--"

"Brie." The compassionate tone in her wife's voice cut right through to the heart of the young Queen's fears. Xena's fingers tenderly caressed her wife's face. "Gabrielle, don't you know how beautiful you are like this?" Xena whispered, never stopping her hand's caresses. "You are absolutely breathtaking," she added.

Gabrielle looked into her warrior's eyes and for the first time since she became pregnant, she actually believed it. She saw the truth of the warrior's words mirrored in blue eyes and finally, Gabrielle saw herself through her wife's eyes.

"Why didn't you say it like this before?" the Queen asked.

Xena paused and lay facing Gabrielle once more. Leaning upon a bent elbow, her head resting in the palm of her hand, she smiled that particular grin of embarrassment, the smile that would only ever be witnessed by this young Amazon Queen.

"I was afraid it might…I don't know, frighten you. At the very least make you think you were married to some kind of pervert that gets off on pregnant women," Xena chuckled and Gabrielle laughed along with her.

"Oh, Xe, the things you think of to worry over," Gabrielle wrapped her arms around Xena's neck, drawing her closer. "Thank you, love. You've made me feel more beautiful than ever.

"You are Gabrielle. When we are quite old and can't even remember what these bodies looked like in our prime, I will always be looking at you and thinking how beautiful you are. It's because your beauty comes from the inside, my heart. It has very little to do with the exquisite shell that you happen to be wrapped up in at the moment. You and I are destined to be together, Brie, I believe that now, with all my heart. Lifetime after lifetime, no matter what mortal guise we wear, you will always be mine. Your heart will always belong to me, just as you will forever possess mine."

Xena punctuated the profound sentiment with a breath-stealing kiss, which left Gabrielle softly moaning and pleading for more.

Xena slowly pulled the Queen's shift open and ran the palm of her hand across Gabrielle's belly. She bent down and kissed the smooth skin. Her hand slid up to tenderly cup a full breast, delighting in the way the flesh around the nipple pebbled and grew taut as her lips grew closer. She smiled inwardly, realizing that before long, she would be sharing this precious treasure with her child. She left a soft trail of kisses from the swollen belly, up to Gabrielle's lips, the young woman offering up a sigh into the teasing kiss upon her lips.

"Oh, Xe…it feels so good…"

"Mmm, you're absolutely right," Xena breathed in her ear, the warrior's touch, as well as her kisses becoming more passionate.

Gabrielle's passion rose at the same pace as her warrior's and soon frustrated growls escaped from the smaller woman's throat.

"Xe…this is so hard. I want to feel you pressed against me. I want to be able to feel you," Gabrielle pleaded through her kisses.

"Roll over," Xena said quickly, "onto your side, facing away from me."

Gabrielle complied, then felt Xena pull the shift completely from her, the warrior's body wrapping around her from behind. Xena's hands were everywhere at once, tender and demanding. The Queen could feel the tightened points of Xena's hard nipples, sliding against her back. She groaned loudly when Xena pressed her mound against the young woman's backside, leaving a wet trail as evidence of the warrior's arousal.

Xena kissed, licked, and nipped at her lover's skin, not able to get enough of the taste of her. Carefully, using a lighter than normal touch, she grasped the elongated nipples, pinching and pulling them ever so slightly. The sensation skyrocketed Gabrielle and she covered the warrior's hands with her own and pressed into the touch.

"Yesss…harder," Gabrielle begged, pressing Xena's hands against her chest.

The warrior tugged the flesh between her thumb and forefinger repeatedly, until Gabrielle was writhing and moaning against her. Sliding one hand between her wife's legs, Xena stroked the drenched folds of Gabrielle's sex.

Gabrielle cried out at the pleasure as Xena's fingers explored her sex. The sensation was unbelievable and she wanted nothing more than to make this feeling last forever, but she could feel her climax already beginning. Xena's fingers pleasured her with expert care. Gabrielle reached her own hand up to touch the breast that Xena abandoned. Her slender fingers tugged at the sensitive nipple just as the warrior had done.

Xena watched as Gabrielle thrust her body against the hand between her legs. The warrior could feel Gabrielle's body begin trembling with the small tremors she experienced just before release. She looked on as the Queen stroked her own breasts, and Xena knew she couldn't hang on long after that sight.

"Oh, Gods, Brie!"

Xena slid her own screaming clit against her wife's backside, while stroking Gabrielle's. Xena held out until Gabrielle screamed out the warrior's name and they lay there, wrapped around one another, shivering and shaking as aftershocks of pleasure passed through their bodies with even the slightest movement.

"Gods! That was wonderful," Gabrielle exclaimed, "but too soon."

"What?" Xena asked.

"I'm a little out of practice," Gabrielle turned her head with a seductive smile. "It felt so good, I couldn't hold out, but I didn't want it to be over so fast…I wanted it to last," she finished with disappointment.

Xena chuckled, kissing her wife's neck and shoulders. "I have a plan beta for just such a problem," the warrior whispered in a voice that sent shivers up the small blonde's spine.

"Oh? And, what would plan beta be?"

"A repeat performance," the warrior expressed her intent by pressing her body against her wife's once more.

**********

Chapter 2

"Gabrielle!"

Xena's impatient voice rang out and Gabrielle stopped in her tracks. She plastered an innocent expression on her face before turning to face her warrior. By the time she turned, Xena was at her side and grabbed the bucket of mud from the smaller woman's hands.

"What?" Gabrielle tried to sound like she didn't know that she'd been caught.

"Brie, this is way too heavy to be lifting. Sartori said that you needed to take it easy. That means rest, not helping me mortar the foundation."

Xena's voice was sharper than she intended, but she was trying to make a point. Gabrielle nearly scared the life out of her when she experienced a bout of painful stomach cramps a few days earlier. The pains eased up, eventually disappearing altogether. Sartori, the village healer, examined the Queen and could find nothing wrong with the young woman, but given the fact that the baby dropped so low, she advised Gabrielle not to do anything that might strain her abdominal or lower back muscles.

Xena wiped her hands and pulled her dejected wife in for a hug. "I'm sorry, Brie, I didn't mean to yell, but I think it's important for you to listen to Sartori. I'm only concerned because--"

"You love me," Gabrielle sighed.

Xena chuckled at the young Queen's pout. "If only your subjects could see you now," she teased, touching a clean finger to the lower lip that Gabrielle stuck out.

"Very funny, warrior. I'm sorry I'm not doing what I'm told, Xe, but I'm going crazy not being able to lift so much as my own dinner plate."

"I know, my heart, but think of the consequences. Just do it my way for once, okay?" Xena asked.

"But, you're doing all the work on the house!"

"Sweetheart," Xena tried to control her laughter, "You are going to give birth to our child. You do realize that you're doing the hard part, right?"

"I'm only having a baby. It's not the same as building a new house," Gabrielle replied.

"Tell me that when your first labor pains hit," Xena mumbled to herself once she turned away and resumed working.

"I thought you said it wouldn't be that bad?" Gabrielle looked truly frightened now. She thought the pain she went through giving birth to Hope was caused by the unnatural acceleration of the pregnancy.

Damn! Her hearing is getting better everyday. "I didn't mean it like that…I was just joking. I mean, it's not going to be painless, Brie, but some women, especially first time mothers, have their babies so fast, that there's no time for it to hurt."

"Oh." Gabrielle said quietly, obviously thinking about that.

"Just take it easy, all right?" Xena pleaded, slapping another handful of mud in between the roughly hewn logs.

"Oh, okay," the dejected Queen finally gave in.

"Promise?" Xena asked. She knew she was probably pushing it, but Gabrielle and their unborn baby's safety came above all else.

"I promise…I don't have to like it, but I do promise to behave," Gabrielle promised.

"I tell you what…let me clean all the mud off and I'll take you to the food hut for a midday meal. How does that sound?" Xena asked, knowing the only sure way to get her wife's mind off the subject.

Gabrielle's eyes brightened immediately. "Now you're talking, warrior!" She exclaimed with a smile.

**********

Gabrielle drummed her fingers on the table impatiently. She looked around their now spacious surroundings and couldn't believe they once called this, the Queen's hut. It looked more like a mansion now. Xena started out intending to only add on a room. Something to give them a little more space and a place that in another season or so could be used as their child's bedroom, or their bedroom, depending on how they worked it. Naturally, being the Warrior Princess, she never did anything in a small way. With some help from Eponin and a number of other Amazons, Xena was able to build two more rooms and a separate area to be used as a bathing chamber.

Gabrielle rose and paced the room.

"She's not going to a ball, just the food hut. What in Hades is taking her so long?" She said to no one but herself.

The young woman began to tidy up. She'd rearranged the bedroom a hundred times already. Xena did what she promised to do since the day they became lovers. She built a warrior size bed for them. The baby's cradle sat beside the bed, one corner of their new bedroom situated for the child's cradle and other assorted items. A large chest already held clothes and diapers, everything they would need.

Everything was ready and in place, but Gabrielle couldn't help arranging and rearranging until she knew she was going to drive her warrior mad. She lifted a small pile of clothes and bent to place them into the chest, on the floor. The strangest sensation of being watched came over the Queen, but when she stood, looking around the room, the warrior she expected to see smirking at her, was not there. She shook her head and grinned at herself, bending slightly to move the wooden cradle just a little bit more to the left.

A white-hot bolt of pain seared its way across Gabrielle's abdomen. Her hands fell from the cradle she was attempting to move and she dropped to one knee from the pain's intensity. She reached out and clutched the side of the bed, her fingers clawing at the blanket and balling it under her fist. She finally found her voice enough to gasp, but as quickly as the pain came over her, it disappeared.

Gabrielle wiped the sweat from her forehead and slowly eased herself back up until she was sitting on the bed. She took slow, deep breaths, running the palm of her hand over her large belly. She could still feel the after effects; small twinges in her abdomen that she knew weren't normal labor pains. Gabrielle sat and cursed herself for attempting to move the cradle. She promised Xena she wouldn't do anything like that, yet the first time the warrior wasn't around she broke her word. She wasn't sure if it was that or the muscle spasm that hurt worse.

"Hey, you must be famished by now." Xena strode into the room.

"Y-Yea…you ready?" Gabrielle asked, rising slowly from the bed.

She knew she should tell Xena about what just happened, but she also knew that Xena would be angry and disappointed in her. I swear, I will be more careful from now on, just don't let anything be wrong, Gabrielle silently prayed to any Gods willing to listen.

Brie? Are you okay?" Xena asked.

More lies, to cover up the first one. Oh, forgive me, Xe.

"Yes, of course. Ready to go?" Gabrielle put on a smile and headed for the door.

Xena stopped to kiss her wife and they walked outside, toward the center of the village. Gabrielle felt no residual pain and thanked the Gods above for listening to her pleas. The only change in the young Queen was that she suddenly lost her appetite. Xena knew how that could be. You had a craving one moment, but once it passed, you were on to something else. The warrior never pushed or prodded. She simply rubbed her wife's back, watching as the young woman pushed her food around on her plate.

**********

Gabrielle felt her abdomen cramp up again and winced slightly. It wasn't the sharp pain that she experienced earlier, rather the discomfort she often felt when it was her time of the moon. The pains didn't seem to be increasing in intensity, only frequency. Unable to ignore her wife's countenance any longer, Xena leaned over to whisper in Gabrielle's ear.

"Brie, what's wrong? Are you in pain?"

The look of understanding and concern on her warrior's face caused Gabrielle to rethink her earlier idea of keeping silent about breaking her promise. Something was wrong and her only thoughts were of her baby's welfare now, not the fact that this would probably start a fight between she and Xena. The young Queen decided to tell the warrior exactly what happened.

"Xe, I--Oh Gods!" Gabrielle grabbed the edge of the table as a particularly strong spasm shot through her abdomen.

"Gabrielle, what's wrong?" Xena looked up sharply.

The others at the Queen's table were beginning to realize something was wrong and paused in their own meals or conversations to watch the Queen and her Consort.

"Oh, Xe…I--I…" Gabrielle willed the words to her tongue, but they wouldn't come. She needed to tell Xena the truth. She, of all people, knew where lies and half-truths could bring a couple.

"Gabrielle, you are in pain, aren't you?"

Gabrielle nodded. "It's like my time of the moon, at least it started out that way. Now it's getting worse. Oh, Xe, I--"

"Sshh, love," Xena slipped her hand inside Gabrielle's shift and placed it, palm side down, against the lowest part of her wife's belly.

Gabrielle felt another cramp begin and tensed.

"There was that it, did you feel the pain just now?" Xena questioned.

Gabrielle could only nod her head again. She looked up into her wife's blue eyes, expecting to see fear or worry. Instead, a broad smile broke out across Xena's face.

"Brie, it's all right. I think your labor pains have started, that's all there is to it. Gods, your good, woman, almost nine moons to the day."

Are you sure, that's all, Xena? I mean, my water didn't even break yet."

"It will, not to worry. How long have you been having them?"

"Since just before we came to lunch."

Gabrielle finally let herself relax. It wasn't something she'd done at all; it was simply her labor beginning. There was nothing wrong with her baby. She allowed herself a weak grin in her wife's direction.

"I guess it's time, huh?"

"I guess so, my heart," the warrior grinned back

**********

Sartori felt Gabrielle's abdomen just as Xena did moments earlier. "Do you two want to go home or over to the healer's hut?" The healer asked.

"Home," they both answered in unison.

"Well, since the contractions are coming closer together, why don't you two head over there? I'll go get some things I'll need and Adia and I will meet you there. Gabrielle, who will bless the child?"

Sartori asked about the blessing, knowing that Gabrielle's best friend within the village was Ephiny. It was still a formality that had to be taken care of. This wasn't just any child coming into the world; this was the Queen's heir. If it was a boy, he would be blessed in the Amazon fashion, and the Gods thanked. If the child of the Queen and her consort were a girl, the infant would be blessed in the same manner, but she would immediately be recognized as Amazon royalty and given Gabrielle's right of caste. The Queen's Consort would then present the child to Artemis for her blessing.

Xena and Gabrielle walked from the large food hut. The tall warrior had her arm wrapped around the young Queen's shoulder, moving at a very slow pace to accommodate the smaller woman. Xena was nervous now. She'd been through this before when she gave birth to Solon, and she remembered how difficult and painful her own labor was. It stabbed at her heart to think of Gabrielle going through that kind of pain. She knew her wife would consider it all worth it, just as she had when it was over, but that didn't make it any easier to take right now.

"Oh, Gods!" Gabrielle paused and squeezed the hand Xena offered. The pains were coming one after another and suddenly Gabrielle felt the wet warmth that she knew could only be one thing.

"Great," the Queen muttered.

Xena took in the dark stain on Gabrielle's shift and nodded her understanding. "Your water broke?"

Gabrielle nodded and took a step forward. The moment she placed her foot on the ground a pain unlike any of the others ripped through her body. She screamed and fell back, Xena's arms scooping her up before she fell to the dirt.

"Brie!" Xena cradled Gabrielle's body to her own.

"It hurts…Gods, Xe!" Gabrielle hissed out between clenched teeth. "Something feels wrong."

Gabrielle didn't have to explain any more than that. Xena knew that her wife had a sense about things, being half Goddess; she had abilities that Xena stopped questioning. She turned away from the path that led to their home and moved toward the healer's hut. She met Sartori and Adia coming her way.

"Something's wrong," Xena said in a tense voice.

Both Healer's stopped and turned to rush ahead of the warrior, carrying the near hysterical Queen. Ephiny appeared only moments later to find the Healer's hut in a state of controlled chaos. Adia handed Sartori herbs as she mixed some medicines together, while Xena tried desperately to calm her wife, who was nearly shrieking in pain.

Sartori pressed a small piece of root into Xena's hand. The warrior immediately recognized the plant and knew what to do.

"Brie, baby, look at me," Xena requested.

Gabrielle focused terrified eyes on her wife and the calmness that Xena willed into her gaze infected the Queen. Xena moved Gabrielle forward on the pallet and sat behind her, the support immediately lessening the lower back pain the young woman was experiencing.

"Bite down on this, love," Xena said, slipping the small piece of root into her wife's mouth.

Gabrielle was in no position to argue. She bit into the soft root and obeyed Xena's further instructions. She pressed down, swallowing the saliva that tasted like almonds. The effects were immediate, as Gabrielle felt lightheaded. Her pain was still there, but for some reason she felt slightly disconnected from it. Xena searched her wife's eyes and noticed the telltale glazed over look. She also took note that Gabrielle's breathing slowed down considerably, the undesirable side effect to the medicinal pain-killing root.

"Spit it out, Brie." Xena commanded, holding her hand in front of her wife's mouth.

When the young woman spit out what remained, the warrior tossed it away, looking up at Sartori. The Healer wore a fresh apron and bent down to examine Gabrielle.

"Oh Gods!" Gabrielle exclaimed, pressing herself into Xena's strong body behind her.

"Okay, Gabrielle it's a contraction, don't try to fight it or bear down, just try to work with it the way we discussed."

Gabrielle closed her eyes to concentrate on going with the flow of the contraction. She could feel the pressure between her legs and suddenly the cramping sensation was easing up.

"Good…good job. I can just see the baby's head. You're doing fine, Gabrielle," Sartori encouraged.

Gabrielle's scream took everyone by surprise, especially the Healers and Xena, who knew she shouldn't be able to experience the pain because of the herb's anesthetic properties. The young woman went rigid in Xena's arms, not even able to breath. The pain was unlike anything Gabrielle ever felt before. She knew that if a blade sliced her belly open to the core; it would have felt just like this. She never knew a person could experience or tolerate this much pain and still be conscious.

"Something's wrong!" Xena shouted over Gabrielle's screams to Sartori.

"The baby's nearly here. Gabrielle you have to try, just push once," Sartori shouted back.

Gabrielle didn't think she could. She didn't think she could even breathe much longer. She could hear Xena talking to her, but she wasn't able to make out the words…just sounds, wonderful, loving sounds of strength and encouragement. She took a deep gulp of air and pushed. The pain was worse when she did, but Gabrielle grit her teeth and willed her mind to forget the pain for her baby's sake. She felt something like a release, and then the pressure between her legs was gone, replaced by a warm wetness.

"That's it!" Sartori cried out. "It's a girl," she held the child up to clear an airway. Before either the parents or anyone else could breathe a sigh of relief or speak congratulations, they waited for the cry.

The silence was deafening.

Xena held Gabrielle as she watched Sartori frantically clear the baby's mouth and nose, smack the infants' bottom, rub its chest, anything to induce that first breath of life. Gabrielle screamed once more as another volley of spasms took control of her body.

"Adia," Sartori held the child up for her own wife. "It's the afterbirth," she commented quickly.

Xena was still splitting her attention between the woman who writhed in agony in her arms and her child. Adia and Ephiny were hunched over the baby, attempting to breath air into its lungs, Adia pulled some powders from the shelf and Xena could see her try one after another on the baby's tongue, all while Ephiny attempted to breath for the baby, massaging her tiny chest.

Gabrielle fell still and Sartori looked even more worried than before. Xena felt powerless and was about to rise from the bed to assist in saving her child.

"She's bleeding," the Healer stated.

Sartori's face looked strained yet she moved quickly and without panic. She set the package of the afterbirth aside, as was the custom for the blessing. She also pushed a handful of cloth bandages to the floor. Xena looked down at the bandages in uncharacteristic silence. They weren't just bloody cloths; they were completely soaked in blood. The Healer repeated the action and Xena could only watch as Sartori pushed large cloths to the floor, saturated in Gabrielle's blood.

Gabrielle felt pain free at last, but tired and cold, so very cold. She wanted to close her eyes and go to sleep, but her baby…she knew something was wrong and couldn't focus on the chaos around her to know what was happening. She hadn't heard her baby cry. A terrible fear clutched at her heart and the pain was nearly as great as the physical pain she suffered from moments ago. She knew now that her labor hadn't been normal. She'd done something to her baby because of her own stubbornness. Xena would hate her, but she had to tell her wife that she was responsible for whatever was happening to their child.

"Xe…"

Xena looked down at her wife's face just as Gabrielle's head hit the warrior's shoulder, slumping to one side. Gabrielle's eyes fluttered as if she were struggling to keep them open. That's when Xena heard both voices come at her.

"I can't stop the bleeding," Sartori's voice was tinged with fear.

"I don't know what else to do," Adia sighed in defeat.

Xena watched as Sartori jumped up from her position at the end of the bed. The Healer moved two wooden blocks over to the end of the bed. The warrior saw that Ephiny continued to breath for the tiny infant, but Xena knew it was too long. She made the only decision she felt she could make.

"Brie? Gabrielle!" Xena gently slapped her wife's face until the green eyes tried to pull her into focus. "Stay awake, baby. Don't go to sleep." Xena slipped out from behind the young woman and moved to the end of the bed, lifting it up as Sartori placed the large blocks under the rear legs of the pallet. The end of the bed was raised up into the air and Xena quickly returned to Gabrielle's side.

"Brie! Stay with me, baby."

Gabrielle did all she could do to muster a weak smile for her wife. "I'm so cold, Xe. Xena, I've done something…I have to tell you…"

"Sshh…" Xena calmed the young woman, quickly jabbing two fingers at the area where Gabrielle's thigh met her hip. "You're cold because you're bleeding too much, Brie. I'm going to use the pinch on this area to stop the flow of blood, then I'll release it after a few seconds. That should eventually slow it down, okay?"

Gabrielle squeezed her wife's hand in response.

Xena looked up as she repeatedly released the pinch from her wife's artery. She watched with tears filling her eyes as Ephiny and Adia took turns breathing their own air into her child's body. She brusquely wiped the tears away, turning back and releasing the ancient hold on Gabrielle once more. She had to make a decision. She couldn't take her attention away from her wife, and so, she had to leave her child's life in the hands of competent and caring friends. She'd lost Gabrielle before, she was determined not to let her beloved's life slip away again.

When Xena looked up at Gabrielle, she saw the Queen more alert, looking on the scene of Adia, Ephiny, and their child. When the Queen's eyes pulled themselves away to look into her Consort's eyes, their exchanged gaze spoke the truth. Xena and Gabrielle both knew that too much time had passed. The unspoken acknowledgment passed between them and tears fell from the Queen's eyes as she laid her head back down. Her eyes held an incredible pain and guilt so immense, Gabrielle wasn't sure she knew how to overcome it. At the same time, Xena watched her wife, her own gaze screaming out her frustrated helplessness and overwhelming anger.

Xena released the pinch again, silently counting the beats between releases.

"Xena, it's slowing," Sartori said, tossing more bandages aside. She couldn't look up at the warrior, her own guilt over the situation behind her apparent.

The second Sartori spoke those words; Xena shot up and crossed the room to where her child lay. She knew. She knew when she pushed her friends aside and attempted to breathe life in to her child's limp and unmoving body, she knew it would do no good. The warrior tried every healer's trick she'd ever been taught, even using a few herbs that surprised Adia. Time passed quickly, but to Xena those long moments in time lasted an eternity.

"I'm…I'm so sorry, Xena…it's been too long," Adia's tears stained her own face as she watched her friend lean her body protectively over her baby, her large hands stroking the dark head.

Xena nodded her head when she felt Ephiny's hand on her shoulder, but she didn't move. She couldn't bring herself to step away from the child. That would be to admit that it was over. It was with a supreme effort that she stood and looked at Ephiny.

"Bless her," Xena said in a voice thick with emotion.

"Xena, she--"

"Do it! Please, Eph…it's the only way they'll know." The warrior choked out the rest.

Ephiny immediately understood why Xena wanted the blessing. Amazon royalty were blessed at birth as heirs to the throne. This way, their heritage or parentage could never come into question. The warrior wanted people to forever remember that this child belonged to Xena of Amphipolis and Gabrielle of Potidaea.

The Regent nodded and turned to bathe the tiny, still figure.

Xena moved to the bed where Sartori already stripped the blood soaked sheets from the bed and put fresh bandages in place. Xena gently sat beside her wife, taking her hand in her own. Gabrielle's eyes opened, her jaw clenched against what she knew her wife was about to say.

"Brie…" Xena whispered hoarsely, trying to keep a reign on her own emotions.

"I know," Gabrielle replied flatly.

Ephiny placed a tiny feather choker around the baby's neck, smudging herbs across her cheeks and forehead. She wrapped the child up in a clean blanket and picked the still body up.

"What will she be named?" The Regent asked, looking between Xena and Gabrielle as the Queen and her Consort sat gazing at one another.

"Brianna," Xena answered without hesitation.

Gabrielle looked into the blue eyes filled with as much pain and sadness as her own. They argued many nights back and forth about their baby's name. The young Queen was adamant about not naming her daughter after herself. Xena, on the other hand, wanted their first child to be called at least something similar to the name that she loved so well.

The stoic, dark-haired woman refused to cry, attempting to be strong for her wife. Xena's voice left no room for discussion, however, as to what their daughter would be named. Gabrielle looked over at Ephiny and nodded, returning her gaze to the warrior who looked as if the rug had just been pulled away from her entire life.

Gabrielle squeezed Xena's hand, acquiescing to her wife's wish. She ground her teeth together listening to the sounds of Ephiny's chanting. She would not fall apart. Gabrielle would not allow herself to cry any more tears. She would bear it as an Amazon Queen should, knowing her wife was in as much pain as she.

Ephiny turned and held the infant's body in her arms. She wasn't sure either of the women wanted to actually hold the child, and so she simply stood there.

"The Princess Brianna," she whispered softly. "Daughter of Queen Gabrielle and her Consort Xena of Amphipolis."

Gabrielle took some very deep breaths and Xena could see that the young Queen was trying very hard not to break down.

Xena could only look on the sight of her wife, her jaw clenching and releasing as she fought back tears. This seemed to be the last straw. One last knife in her warrior's heart was the sight of her tender and compassionate wife, stifling back her own emotions. Xena was keeping a tenuous hold on her quickly mounting anger, anger brought on by this immense sorrow. That hold snapped when Xena rose from the bed, holding out her arms for her child. Ephiny placed the infant in its mother's arms, gazing in concern at the expression in Xena's eyes.

"Xena?" Ephiny asked.

"Now she meets Artemis!" Xena sneered.

The warrior turned toward the entrance and strode angrily out, slamming the door loudly behind her.

Chapter 3

Xena didn't really want to examine her feelings or even think about what she actually held in her arms. Her warrior's brain pushed aside the pain and the agony of her broken heart. She placed emotions like that into a spot where they couldn't interfere with her capabilities as a warrior. She shoved to one corner of her conscious mind, the fact that she had a wife back in the Healer's hut whose world was falling apart also.

A sharp stab, like a thorn penetrating her skin, pierced her heart. It was difficult to put on that warrior's mask when it came to Gabrielle. She briefly thought of the horror of the crimes she committed when her only child, Solon, was murdered. She remembered the anguish and completely empty state of her heart. That's what Gabrielle was going through right now and it frightened the warrior.

It wasn't exactly what her wife would do, that worried the dark-haired woman. What terrified Xena the most was that she didn't know what she would do. She didn't know if she could be there for Gabrielle. How could she be a source of strength, to encourage her wife to grieve, heal, and then continue with her life, when Xena felt like falling apart herself? Through all of the life and death tragedies the warrior and her bard suffered, it always fell on one of them to carry the load for the other.

Over the seasons, it became a truly equal partnership. When Xena felt she'd lost her way, Gabrielle was always there…her beacon, the light that would guide her. When Gabrielle found herself lost in the trials and consequences of life, Xena's love for her bard was always the one thing that could be counted upon. Now, the two women found themselves faced with perhaps the greatest challenge of their lives. This time they both hurt. This time one could not carry the load for the other.

Xena looked down at the baby in her arms. Her lips were pale and lifeless, but otherwise she looked as if she were sleeping. The warrior paused at the entrance to Artemis' temple. She looked down on her daughter's lifeless body and reached down to kiss her forehead.

"It's not that I don't love you, my Bri, nor will I ever forget you, but your mother needs me, maybe more than she ever has before. I have to be hard and strong for her. You understand, don't you?"

Xena paused as if expecting some sort of answer. She swallowed her tears and pushed the doors to the Temple open. Striding purposefully up to the altar, she laid her daughter gently down across the polished stone.

"Artemis! Your faithful requests your presence!" Xena shouted out.

I took only heartbeats for the Goddess' shape to materialize from shimmering sparkles, to the tall, lithe form of Artemis. Her gray eyes immediately smiled at the offering on her alter.

"Xena, at last…Apollo will awfully upset he missed--"

Artemis scanned the warrior's mind. Unlike her brother, Apollo, she felt no qualms at invading the mortal's minds in her care. She stared hard at the warrior and the vehemence projected from the warrior's thoughts was like a physical blow to the tall Goddess.

"No," she stated, "that wasn't fated to happen!"

Artemis rushed to the lifeless form and tenderly lifted the child to her. Her own heart ached and she reached out to touch her brother's mind. It was rare, but Apollo's thoughts were unavailable to her.

"I'll be back," Artemis hissed and instantly disappeared.

The Goddess reappeared moments later, but she stood in a great hall, massive spinning wheels turning and weaving threads in enormously complex patterns. An eerie blue light glowed, now and again changing to green, them magenta. The Fates went about their tasks, the women never bothering to look up when Artemis came forward. The Olympian Gods only came here for one reason, which was when they didn't like the way the threads fell.

"Do you see this?" Artemis tried to control the rage in her voice. It did no good to anger the three women, who literally held her mortal's lives within their hands.

Clotho looked up first. "A mortal child."

"Yes, the child of my chosen and her Consort. The child is dead," Artemis replied.

"That is impossible. Look," Atropos indicated a bright white thread, still glistening with its newness. "This is the child of Xena and Gabrielle, the Princess Brianna."

"This is the child, just from its mother's womb!" Artemis held the baby out before her.

All three sisters passed their hands over the lifeless form to ascertain the truth of the child's identity. They exchanged worried glances at the impossibility of the situation.

"This cannot be," Lachesis sat down near the glistening thread. "This was not fated for the child of Xena and Gabrielle, this was not the way. See, the thread still holds strong."

Atropos tested threads further away from the bright one of the baby, Brianna, to discover that threads were darkening and shriveling up farther and farther down the line.

"This child's fate was to touch so many lives…to save so many. The threads are changing because the child will no longer live to bring salvation to those in the future. Innocents will die over this."

"The structure of humanity will change over this," Clotho added.

"We will call upon our sister, we have no other choice."

"She will not listen. It will be useless to summon her, she has never desired to intervene."

"The Oracle of Taan is our only hope. She will not wish to see humanity's destruction."

Clotho looked at the Goddess. "There is nothing we can do to reverse what has befallen the infant. A powerful hand was needed to change the will of the Fates. There are few with that power. We will do what we can, but the mortals are not to know of this incident."

Artemis understood why they gave her that directive. The last thing the Fates wanted to get out was the fact that there might possibly be a power in the universe that could outwit them. She nodded and left the great hall.

**********

It was only heartbeats later, within the mortal realm, when Artemis appeared before Xena again.

The Goddess felt the wave of anguish as soon as she materialized before the warrior. She may not be able to tell Xena the outcome of her talk with the Fates, but she was not about to let her chosen, who just happened to be her niece, lose her firstborn child.

The Goddess cradled the infant within her arms; a soft warm glow surrounded her hand as it made it's way across the child's flesh. Artemis worked twice as long as necessary, trying to bring life back into the child.

Nothing happened, the baby didn't even stir and Xena looked on in heartbreak, even as Artemis gazed at the warrior in confusion.

"I don't understand. I have always had Athena's blessing to heal," Artemis whispered.

The Goddess reached her mind out to encounter her sister's mind. She begged, searching the universe for Athena's thoughts, they were as absent to her as her brother's were earlier.

Artemis walked down the steps and approached the warrior again. "I'm sorry, Xena. I'm so very sorry. I swear to you, I won't rest until I find out who took your child's life."

As much as she detested most of the Gods, she was perfectly willing to risk anything to be able to place her living, breathing daughter in her mother's arms. Xena's eyes burned blue fire in the Goddess' direction. The warrior hated relying on others. It was nearly impossible for her to bring her child here, knowing it was tantamount to begging. She hated not being in control of the situation, having her fate placed in another's hands.

Xena set her jaw firmly in place. "Neither will I."

The warrior took the child from Artemis' grasp, and she carefully cradled the infant in her arms as if the child were still alive. Xena didn't say another word to the tall Goddess who appeared as distressed as the warrior herself did. Xena turned and left the Temple, making her way back to the Healer's hut. The warrior cursed the fact that she would have to tell her wife that she failed.

**********

"Xe?" Gabrielle called out. The Queen didn't even have to ask. She could see, by the look on her wife's face, there would be no miracles for their child.

Ephiny sat by Gabrielle's side. She patted her friend's hand and moved to leave the hut. Sartori and Adia rose to leave also.

"We'll give you some privacy," Adia said to no one in particular. She squeezed her friend's arm as she passed the warrior with the body of her child in her arms.

It was long moments later, when it was only Xena and Gabrielle left in the room, before the warrior lifted her eyes to her wife. She noticed Gabrielle's color was a little better, but only just.

"I'm so sorry, Brie. I--I couldn't…" Xena trailed off, fearing her tears would start. She would be useless to Gabrielle if she broke down, so she swallowed up the pain and the regret, and all the guilt she felt, and moved to lay the lifeless infant in Gabrielle's arms.

Xena hesitated, pulling back slightly, wondering if Gabrielle would rather not hold a child that she would soon have to put to rest.

Gabrielle held her arms out and the warrior gently placed the delicate bundle in her wife's embrace. Xena sat beside the young woman, leaning down to place a tender kiss on the Queen's forehead.

"She could practically be asleep, Xe. If I didn't know better, I would think she was sleeping," Gabrielle said in a far away, dreamy kind of voice. Xena realized Sartori must have given her a painkiller or a sedative.

"See, I knew she would have your hair color…see?" Gabrielle lovingly stroked the thick patch of hair on top of the child's head.

"Yes, my heart, I see…you were right," Xena replied.

The warrior put an arm around her wife and the two women said their own goodbyes to the child that they would never see grow. At length Ephiny came back in and accepted the child. She told Gabrielle they would begin the purification and would send the Princess' spirit to the Amazon Land of the Dead on the sacred flames.

Once Xena and Gabrielle were alone, they simply stayed close and held onto one another.

"Xe?" Gabrielle asked.

"Yes, my heart?"

"I want to go home…I want to sleep in my own bed."

The warrior pulled back to look into her wife's eyes. Gabrielle hadn't really accepted anything yet. Her face held a drugged sort of expression, but she looked so tired.

"I'll check with Sartori," Xena responded.

Xena returned a few moments later, followed by the Healer. "I'll come see you in the morning, Gabrielle," Sartori touched the side of the Queen's face. "Check the bandages for any bleeding," she whispered to Xena.

Xena nodded and tucked an extra blanket around the still pale woman. The warrior easily lifted the young Queen into her arms and they left the Healer's hut.

Gabrielle buried her face against Xena's neck, wrapping her arms around the warrior's neck. Xena looked neither right nor left, not caring to meet the sorrowful glances directed their way. She carried the precious bundle in her arms and placed her in their own bed. She went to make a cup of warm tea for the both of them, suddenly needing something to keep her busy. When the warrior returned to the bedroom, she saw Gabrielle reaching out with one hand to gently rock the cradle that lay beside the bed.

"Do you want me to move that, Brie?"

Gabrielle looked up and shook her head. "Not yet," she said simply.

The two women settled into bed, Xena's strong embrace tighter than normal around her wife. There were no words to say, not yet anyway. Each woman buried herself in her own pain and guilt. The hurt was the same for each of them; only the reasons for their guilt were different.

Xena burned with the shame of failing to save her child's life. She knew there must have been something more she could have done, some way to save Gabrielle and their baby at the same time. Gabrielle knew that she would have to live with this guilt for the rest of her life. She knew in her heart, that she killed their baby, just as surely as if it had been a knife she plunged into the child. If she'd listened and not acted like a stubborn child, she never would have overexerted herself to the point where she put her child's life in jeopardy.

She knew she would have to tell Xena. Of course, she also felt that if she admitted her crime to her wife, Xena's love would quickly grow cold. Normally, she would never dream that a tragedy like this would be able to drive a wedge between she and her wife, but she already killed Xena's first child. Would her warrior be able to handle Gabrielle being at fault a second time? With one act, one moment in time, Gabrielle felt she destroyed, not only her baby's life, but her marriage, too. Everything she held dear to her was now slipping from her grasp and she could do no more than watch as it slid away and shattered against the earth.

Chapter 4

Gabrielle's screams startled Xena from her own fitful sleep. The young Queen thrashed about, Xena finally able to hold on to her and bring the young woman against the warrior's own body, to still her movements until she awoke more fully.

"It's all right, Brie, just a bad dream," Xena said while stroking the young woman's hair.

Gabrielle pulled slightly away from Xena, looking down at her own stomach, and absently placing the flat of her hand against her abdomen. She looked up at Xena and all the previous candlemarks flashed by her mind's eye in a swirling rush. The young woman remembered the events and looked at her wife, tears filling deep green eyes until they spilled down her pale cheeks.

"Oh Xe, I'm so sorry…" Gabrielle sobbed.

She slumped forward, Xena quickly pulling the small woman back into her embrace. Gabrielle's wracking sobs shook her small frame. The warrior held her wife, wishing she could join her in her tears, but Xena refused. She had to remain strong for Gabrielle. Falling apart would never do. She would wait, and then later, when the crisis was over and Gabrielle was stronger, then she would allow herself to examine her own pain. Now, she swallowed the rising anger and hurt down, holding Gabrielle closer, and rocking her body in a soothing motion.

"It's okay, baby…I'm here," Xena whispered repeatedly. "You have nothing to be sorry about, my heart."

The warrior kissed the top of the blonde head, stroking Gabrielle's face, wiping the wet tear stained cheeks with her hands.

"I'm right here, Brie. Talk to me, love."

"Xena…I--I…" she looked up into the blue depths of the warrior's eyes, seeing only love and understanding in her wife's gaze.

Why isn't she angry? Cursing the Gods or even screaming? Gabrielle couldn't bring herself to admit it. She wanted to tell Xena, to unburden her own heart, but the warrior looked at her as though she was willing to do anything for Gabrielle. The Queen was taken back once more by the selflessness within her spouse's heart. She only ever thinks of me, Gabrielle thought to herself.

"Talk to me, my heart," Xena repeated.

At last, Gabrielle shook her head slowly back and forth. "I can't," she muttered.

Xena settled the young woman against her larger body once more. "I understand," she pulled back to kiss her wife's forehead. "Whenever you're ready, Brie. I'll be right here."

**********

Gabrielle opened her eyes when she felt a gentle kiss on her cheek. Xena sat on the outside edge of the bed, fully dressed, and reached out to brush her fingers against her wife's cheek.

"Morning," Xena said.

"Morning," Gabrielle returned, trying to match the look of love in her warrior's eyes.

"How do you feel, Brie? Any pain or cramping?"

Gabrielle shook her head back and forth, in answer to the latter question, but ignored the first. Xena seemed to understand and didn't press.

"I need to check the bandages and packing, unless you'd rather have Sartori do it?" Xena said tentatively.

"No, Xe…I think I'd rather have you do it."

Xena removed the bandages and the packing that the Healer left in place after the great amount of bleeding Gabrielle experienced.

"How does it look?" Gabrielle cautiously raised her head to see what Xena was doing.

"Good. Actually, there's hardly a spot on these cloths. I find that a little strange, Brie. You bled more than anyone I've ever seen that didn't have a fatal battle wound. I'll put these fresh bandages in place under your breeches just in case."

"I really don't understand it, though," Xena repeated, shaking her head. "Guess you're getting to be as fast a healer as me." Xena said as she rose and poured some water from a pitcher into a bowl to wash her hands.

The warrior came and sat by her wife's side once more. "Tired?" She asked, running her hands through Gabrielle's golden hair.

Gabrielle nodded. Her eyes, swollen from crying, felt scratchy and burned.

"It's to be expected. You've been through a lot"

"We've been through a lot," Gabrielle interrupted, squeezing the hand that now held her own.

"Yes, but my body didn't go through the same physical trauma that yours did," Xena answered. "You need rest and lots of it."

"Xe, I need to tell you--"

"Sshh…" Xena pressed two fingers against Gabrielle's lips, preventing the young woman from continuing. "All I want you to do is rest today, Brie, no heavy thoughts. Give your body a chance to heal. Okay?"

Gabrielle offered her wife a weak smile and Xena helped to make the young woman more comfortable, pulling the thick blanket up to the small blonde's chin. The warrior situated herself beside Gabrielle, stroking her hair and face, feeling the young woman relax little by little. Eventually, Gabrielle's deep even breathing told the warrior that her wife was finally asleep.

Unfortunately, as soon as Gabrielle fell into a deep sleeping pattern, the nightmares were there. The Queen didn't wake, but her moans and soft cries tore at Xena's heart in a way that nothing else in life could. The dark-haired woman pulled the sleeping form closer, rubbing her back, and stroking her hair.

With a deep sigh, Xena tilted her head back against the bed's headboard and let her own pain wash over her. It was an odd transformation, almost physical, as the warrior let down her guard for just a few moments. The expression on her face, which only moments before was full of love and compassion for her partner, turned into one of anguish. She thought if she could release some of her pain and hurt, just a little at a time, then lock it back up again, at least she would be more of a help to her wife. Gabrielle didn't need the added burden of worrying about how Xena was handling the loss of their child. The warrior would simply handle her grief privately, and then be there for Gabrielle when her wife needed her.

And so, the warrior let the tears spill from her eyes, silent sobs causing only slight tremors to shake through her body. She kissed the top of her wife's head, the warrior's tears splashing onto the small figure in her embrace. Like the consummate warrior she was, Xena took control of herself and stilled her tears after only a short time. Taking deep breaths, her fingers curled into tight fists, she fought the need to scream and curse at the world around them.

Gabrielle finally slept, but Xena could tell that nightmarish images still plagued the Queen's rest. The young woman's body twitched and jerked, with her moans occasionally turning to cries. Xena sat at the small wooden table, and nibbled at some bread and cheese. Eponin brought it by and seemed as reluctant to speak as Xena did. Warriors had different ways of coming to terms with death than others, so the two sat on the steps of the veranda. The Amazon inquired as to Gabrielle's well being and they spoke of hunting, fishing, even combat training for the younger Amazons. When Eponin stood to go, she placed one hand on Xena's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. Without looking up, Xena placed her own hand over the Amazon's.

"Thanks, Ep."

"No problem, my friend. Make sure Gabrielle eats something."

Eponin didn't have to tell Xena to be sure she ate. She was a warrior, and would eat for nourishment and strength, no matter how little of an appetite she had.

So, Xena sat at the table, her hands warmed by a hot mug of tea, and took small bites of the food before her. It lay, tasteless on her tongue, but her warrior's instinct for survival pushed her to chew and swallow, repeating the action until she couldn't bear to take another bite.

Xena felt the chill in the room as the sun crept lower in the sky. She always enjoyed summer and the evenings when it took Apollo many candlemarks to pilot his chariot toward the horizon. She got up and checked on Gabrielle, sleeping silently at last. She would visit the food hut in a while and wake her wife then. Some warm broth would do the exhausted Queen much good.

The warrior pulled the blanket back over her wife's body and leaned down, pressing a tender kiss against the sleeping woman's temple. Xena stepped outside and walked to the back of the house, to a woodpile that she laid in last season. Stacking a few logs in her arms, she heard the sound of someone clearing their throat.

When Xena turned, she saw two of Gabrielle's Royal Guard. The Guard were always stationed at the Queen's home and these two were probably walking the area, when they spotted the warrior. They just stared for a moment, until the taller of the two worked up her courage to speak.

"Our hearts are with the both of you, your Highness," she said.

"Thank you, we cherish the thoughts," Xena replied using the customary Amazon statement.

Xena mounted the steps back into the house, thinking how uncharacteristic it was for her to have taken part in such a traditional conversation. The Guards offered her the customary sentiment on the loss of a loved one. The two women looked a little taken back at the warrior's response, but Xena knew it's what Gabrielle would have said. It wasn't as if she was unaware of Amazon custom, therefore she responded with the expected response when offered bereavement thoughts from the two Guards.

Right now, Xena knew she had to take her wife's place in front of these people. She would have to be Gabrielle's Consort and hold up her end of things. For once, she couldn't frown or roll her eyes at the Amazon's long-standing customs. Xena would have to take a deep breath and try her best to be the Consort this village expected.

Xena walked in to find Gabrielle sitting up in bed, her eyes still held the confusion of sleep. A chill breeze entered the room with the warrior and Gabrielle pulled the blanket around her shoulders.

"Just give me a moment to get a fire lit," Xena said as she placed the logs in the fireplace, "and it will warm up in no time."

"It's funny how the heat can be scorching during the day, yet the instant the sun goes down, I'm freezing, Gabrielle answered.

True to her word, Xena had a blaze going in no time and it quickly took the chill off the room.

"How do you feel?" Xena asked in concern, coming over to sit beside her wife.

The warrior noticed the dark shadows under the Queen's eyes, due in part to the amount of blood she lost the previous day. Xena also understood that no matter how long Gabrielle slept, if the nightmares continued to plague her sleep, the young woman would never get any rest. They had quite a bit of personal experience with that scenario a few seasons back. After Gabrielle's attack, violent images began to haunt her sleeping moments until she looked like a wraith. The young woman was so tiny, it only took a few days, and she lost weight, and sleep, at an alarming rate. Xena could see the same troubled expression in Gabrielle's eyes as she did back then.

"Like I could use a hot bath. Do you think…I mean, would it be okay?" Gabrielle asked.

"It should be fine. Let me go and set some water on the fire in there." Xena replied, gone to fulfill the request before Gabrielle could say another word.

Xena designed the bathing chamber like the one's they had in Athens. A large tank outside the house held water and when a spigot was turned inside, the water rushed into the large basin. During the summer, the sun heated the water in the outside tank, making for a nice temperature for bathwater. Xena filled the basing for her wife, adding a few drops of the hyacinth oil Gabrielle loved. Once filled, she started a fire in the fireplace and placed two metal containers, filled with water, over the heat.

"I've got some water over the fire now. It should be ready in no time." Xena came back into the room and addressed the small blonde.

Gabrielle wore a long robe, made of a light, cottony material. She sat on the edge of the bed, staring down at her own hands. She felt the mattress shift as Xena sat down beside her and watched as her wife's large hand reached across to cover her own. Without the warrior's greaves covering her forearms, the tattoo that ran around her wrist was completely visible. The marks matched the ones on Gabrielle's own wrist, the sign of a Royal Amazon marriage. The Queen traced along the outline of the pattern on her partner's wrist with her own index finger.

"You didn't sleep well," Xena said softly.

Gabrielle nodded.

"Bad dreams?" The warrior asked.

Gabrielle looked up in alarm. "Was I talking in my sleep?"

"No, but I heard you cry out." Xena answered.

The warrior remembered the last time. Gabrielle let herself become ill, trying to keep the truth of her dreams from Xena. The dark-haired woman moved to kneel in front of Gabrielle, taking both of the young Queen's hands within her own.

"Brie, you know that you can tell me anything…even what happens in your dreams. You do know that, right?" Xena reassured.

"I know…" Gabrielle answered reluctantly.

"I just don't want you becoming ill because you're trying to be strong and bottling it all up. You don't have to be the Queen in front of me, my heart."

Xena looked up into pools of forest green. Gabrielle raised a hand and cupped her wife's face within the graceful touch.

"You take such good care of me," the young woman said softly.

Xena lowered her eyes. "Not good enough," she said in a voice so soft, it was barely a whisper.

"Don't!" Gabrielle said sharply. She placed her fingers under Xena's chin and tilted her face up, drawing the blue gaze to her own. "Don't ever think you're to blame, Xe. I couldn't bear it if I knew you felt that way. Please, my love," Gabrielle pleaded.

Xena was somewhat startled at Gabrielle's reaction. She looked in the emerald gaze that stared back at her with a sort of quiet desperation. The warrior formed what she hoped came across as a halfway decent smile.

"I'll try as long as you'll do the same," Xena said.

Gabrielle conveniently brushed aside the part of the answer that pertained to her. "Try hard, Xe…please?"

Xena took the hand that still held her chin and placed a gentle kiss in the palm. "I'd do anything for you, Brie. You know that, don't you?"

"Yes…I do," Gabrielle replied in a very small voice.

The young Queen only hoped that her wife couldn't hear the strained sadness within her answer.

**********

Xena poured the steaming water from the small metal bucket and the instant the hot water mixed with the hyacinth oil, the whole room filled with the tantalizing floral scent.

Gabrielle stepped into the large tub and Xena kneeled down beside the basin. The warrior picked up a sponge and began to wash her wife's back.

"Ep brought by a basket of food. She brought some of that sweet cheese you like." Xena said, hoping to entice her wife to eat.

"That was thoughtful of her," Gabrielle answered, "but I'm not very hungry right now."

"You need to eat, Brie." Xena said as gently as possible.

"I know…you're right. I'll try to eat something when I'm through here."

"I'm going to go to the food hut, you need something hot in your stomach. It shouldn't be too hard to get down a bowl of broth and some bread, will it?"

"I don't get a choice in this do I?" Gabrielle asked.

"Not much of one, no," Xena replied, kissing the young woman's ear.

"Then I guess broth sounds fine. Thank you, love."

"Do you want help with your hair?" The warrior asked.

"No, I can get it, thanks."

"Okay," Xena said, rising from the floor. "I'll be back by the time you're done. Anything else sound good to you?"

Gabrielle shook her head. Even the thought of eating the broth made her nauseas, but she didn't want to disappoint Xena.

"Be back…" Xena kissed the top of her head and left the room.

Gabrielle washed her body, wincing as the hand cloth passed over the tender flesh between her legs. She washed and rinsed her hair, then reached for the ivory comb that sat on the rim of the metal tub. Gently running the comb through her long hair to remove the tangles, she realized her hair grew quite a bit in the last season. She needed to get a bit cut off. She hated having to tie her hair back when she practiced with her staff, although she hadn't been out to the practice field in moons. She would never understand how Xena fought with her raven mane whipping around her face. Gabrielle found it most distracting.

Her mind wandered around to nearly every inconsequential thought in her head, neatly avoiding the one that caused the most pain. Eventually, there was no way to avoid it. She leaned an arm against the metal tub's rim and laid her cheek down on her forearm. Xena was being so loving and understanding towards the young Queen. If only she knew what I'd done. I don't think she'd look at me with such compassion if she knew that I'm to blame.

As Gabrielle stepped from the tub and dried herself off, she felt only guilt and pain when she thought of her wife taking such good care of her. Each one of Xena's kind words was like a slap to Gabrielle. Each loving look; a bitter strike, this is the way her own guilt pulled at Gabrielle's head.

Pulling on her robe, she played with the delicate ring on her finger, the one her father gave her. She thought about it…last night, calling her father and asking the God to intervene on her and Xena's behalf. When she managed to pull herself, screaming, from her nightmare, she asked Xena what Artemis said to her in the temple. Her wife told her of Artemis' inability to heal Brianna, and of Apollo's absence, which the warrior thought odd.

Gabrielle thought it odd, too. Apollo acted almost as excited about the baby's first appearance, as Xena and Gabrielle. He is a God, after all. Wouldn't he know I was in labor…wouldn't he know something went wrong? The young Queen had one hope left and she hung onto it as if it were her lifeline to salvation.

Feeling the warm metal of the ring on her finger, Gabrielle opened her mouth to speak, but slowly closed her mouth again. He was a God after all, wasn't he? She thought to herself. Gabrielle knew that her father would have seen exactly what happened, the birth of her child and everything leading up to that moment. She was sure he saw the things she did to put her baby's life in jeopardy, stubbornly refusing to listen to Sartori or Xena. That's why he was noticeably absent. Her father turned his face away from her too.

If she would have taken the time to examine the whole situation, to talk with her warrior, or the Healers, who cared so much for their young Queen, she may have learned the truth. Sometimes it's so much easier to believe the outlandish or the near impossible. When your grief clouds your vision and your judgment, the unfeasible becomes truth and reality.

Gabrielle pulled her thoughts away from the ring. She would not beg for anyone's forgiveness. Her crime was too great. She didn't deserve forgiveness. She pulled her robe tighter and walked into the other room.

**********

Gabrielle sat at the table, looking at the unappealing basket of food. She wanted to please Xena by eating something, she just hoped her stomach didn't rebel at the first bit of food she put in it.

The door opened and Xena came in, leaving the door slightly ajar.

"Hey, you look good," she kissed Gabrielle's cheek. "No dizziness, pain, or anything?"

"No, I'm fine." Gabrielle returned.

"Brie, I met Ephiny halfway between here and the food hut and she was on her way here with a dinner tray for us. She wanted me to check with you first, whether or not you wanted to see her. She's waiting at the bottom of the steps."

Gabrielle thought of the woman who was perhaps her best friend, aside from Xena. Ephiny was not only her Regent, but also the first Amazon that the young Queen ever had the chance to know. Most of her early perceptions about her people were based on Ephiny's teachings.

"Of course, Xe, tell her to come in."

A moment later, the Regent came through the door carrying a tray of hot food. She placed the tray on the table and Gabrielle stood to greet her friend.

"Please, Gabrielle, don't get up for me."

"It's all right, I'm feeling a lot better physically." Gabrielle tried to offer the older woman a smile, but it was a weak attempt.

Ephiny came to where Gabrielle stood and she hugged the younger woman, situating a light kiss on her cheek.

"Sure you're feeling okay?" She asked warmly.

"Yea," Gabrielle answered, her voice breaking a little. "Eph, what…I mean, I've never…I don't know what's expected at the funeral, what Xena and I are supposed to do."

Xena stood silently by and Ephiny watched as the warrior clenched her jaw and looked down at the floor.

"Gabrielle, don't worry about that, we can go over it later--"

"No, now," Gabrielle answered. "Please, can we go over it now?"

Ephiny looked confused. She never intended this conversation to be taking place just now. She looked up again and found Xena looking back at her. The warrior nodded her head slightly.

"Okay…why don't we sit down?" Ephiny directed them to the table.

Xena reached over to hold Gabrielle's hand as it rested on top of the table. The Queen turned sad eyes on her wife and squeezed the hand in response.

"Adia and two of the elders are preparing Brianna for her journey to the Amazon Land of the Dead. For two more days, the Princess will go through the purification ceremony. You're both familiar with those rites, correct?" Ephiny looked on as each of the women before her nodded their heads.

"The day after tomorrow, early in the morning, the village will begin to construct the funeral pyre. When…when someone from the Royal family passes over, every person in the village comes by and lays wood on the pyre. Just before sundown, we'll gather. I'll call on one of you," she paused to look between them, "to start the flames."

Xena noticed that Gabrielle's hands trembled at the thought of setting her daughter's funeral pyre aflame. The warrior squeezed the hand within her own tighter.

"I'll do it," Xena said.

Gabrielle lowered her eyes to the table and when she lifted them up again, tears clouded the green gaze. "Go on…" The Queen prompted Ephiny.

The Royal Guard will stand watch through the night as the pyre burns down. Princess Brianna's ashes will be sealed in a container and placed in the Temple of Artemis," Ephiny finished.

The Regent watched as Gabrielle rose, reached over, and hugged her.

"Thanks, Eph. Excuse me, please." Gabrielle said, all but rushing from the room.

Both women watched the young Queen hurry from the room. Xena's first instinct was to follow the young woman, to be there for her, but the warrior had to remind herself that Gabrielle needed time to herself too. Just not too much time.

"How are you doing?" Ephiny asked the warrior.

Xena looked at the Regent and Ephiny knew that stoic, tightly held façade that Xena put on for the world, for everyone but Gabrielle. She could see the warrior pulling back within herself slightly.

"Fine…I'm doing fine," she answered.

"I really didn't mean to do this now…" Ephiny said, turning to look at the door Gabrielle rushed through.

"She hasn't really…she's still denying it. I mean, she's accepted what's happened, but I think she's denying her feelings. I can't seem to get her to talk about it. She's been having nightmares."

Ephiny understood the warrior's fear concerning Gabrielle's nightmares. The Queen and her Consort were to Tartarus and back a few seasons back. After Gabrielle's attack, she spent moons suffering in silence from the violent images that haunted her dreamscape. She knew also that Xena blamed herself for being unable to get Gabrielle to open up to her about the dreams.

"It's only been a day, Xena. It may not be the same this time; they may go away of their own accord. We just have to get her talking about it in a way that will be conducive to her healing…a way for both of you to heal."

Ephiny pointed out the obvious, but she knew the warrior mentality or mindset. She especially knew Xena and Gabrielle. Xena would walk through fire, denying her own welfare and safety, to care for Gabrielle.

Xena was going to argue. She raised her head, prepared to confront the Regent regarding her ability to put aside her own hurt, and why it was more important to take care of Gabrielle. Gabrielle came first. Xena stopped and simply stared at the Amazon, realizing that this was only because Gabrielle came first in her heart. She would do her wife no good if she didn't grieve herself. Now may not be the time, but Xena understood that she couldn't put her emotions about her daughter on hold forever.

The warrior lowered her head again, nodding in agreement with Ephiny.

Well, that's different. Xena agreeing? She must be hurting more than even I understand. If Xena is feeling this much pain, I can only think that Gabrielle is absolutely devastated. Ephiny kept her thoughts to herself, but reached out and placed her hand on Xena's arm.

"Hey, we're all here for you Xena…for the both of you, please, don't forget that. You can come and rant at me when you need to, but just remember that you and Gabrielle need to talk to each other too."

Xena looked up at the Regent once more and Ephiny couldn't quite place the emotion within the unwavering blue gaze. It was somewhere between sadness and jealousy.

"There's a little problem with getting Gabrielle to talk to me," Xena paused, her jaw clenched tighter. "I get the distinct impression that she's deliberately hiding something from me."